90 Days of Happy!!

Written on 24 October 2014

Hi.
My name is Clara and I'm addicted to sadness.
I am always worried about everything.
I have managed to convince myself that people are always out to see the worst in me.

I believe that when they see me they are poking at the holes in my character, appearance, speech, hair...

I always see the darker side of life.

If left by myself in a new city, I am bound to sleep in and hide from the sky not just the people.

I am a sad person to be around, as my family and friends can confirm.

For a while now, I have believed that God can cure this sickness.
I thought faith would heal me.
Then I grabbed onto another train of thought that told me to embrace me.
I convinced myself that I was ok and needed not to change.
Neither philosophy has proved successful.
So I am changing tactics now.
I am declaring 90 days of happy.
I will look for something to be thankful for everyday.
At the start, in the middle and at the end.

I am tempted to share this declaration with the world (yeah right. Like the world even sees me)

That may be useful at first but what happens if the attention of my world begins to wane?
What happens if no one notices?
This is my problem.
It is inside me.
It is about me, not them.
Papa, you and I are going on a journey, I hope.

What have I learnt? 

• There's nothing magical about the number 90. 
• I am not very different now from who I was before.
• There's good in everyday. Sunshine, laughter, people. Mostly people.
• I like cooking. Maybe I should do 90 days of new-to-me recipes.. hmmm. Can we bear the awesomeness. 
• the husband is a very patient man. I struck gold :-)

It took a little longer than 90 days. I lost a couple. Who wipes?

Strange things (89)

I've been warned against running too much because it messes up the knees. I can't do aerobics every day. I don't like them enough to commit to a daily routine. So I thought I'd to try swimming. I found a pool that's clean. I don't agree with the price or the fact that I can't get a weekly or monthly membership but it's a start. I went and did a few laps today. For someone who hasn't been in the water for almost 10 years, I think I wasn't too shabby. 

Eventually, though, I need to get over the fact that there are people who go to pools to watch others swim. I must ignore their sly smiles as I drop my towel and head for the pool. I must remember that I'm there for a good work out. And even when another lady jumps into the pool to do laps alongside me, I must remember it isn't a competition. I will not bend to the chants from the onloookers. 

Now I feel like it's more of a work out for my mind and self assertiveness [or whatever] than it is for my muscles. Will I return surely? It is a very clean pool... Ten years later and it's like I'm back in the campus pool with bored students watching. Life doesn't get old..

In other exciting news, we tried out another recipe today: chicken and mushroom soup. Yes. I made the bread too.

Services. Delivered (88)

I realised that I have a lot of comments about the way I am treated when purchasing a product or service. Perhaps, because good treatment is such a rare find, I feel I ought to mention it when I am fortunate enough to find it. 

Yesterday, I went to buy a fan [because the rain won't fall at my request]. My adventure led me to Capital Shoppers [again I thank the employers for being so generous with shopping vouchers]. The first attendant I spoke to was bothered by my interest. I seemed to be interrupting her midday nap. Her colleague on the other hand went above and beyond her call of duty. She packed the fan, helped me jump the queue at the teller and even offered to carry it out for me [it wasn't that heavy and I'm not physically challenged in anyway. There was no tip, because Ugandans generally don't tip. She was just being nice]. AbaCapital Muwangale!

On my way home I was surprised to find Mukyala Musisi's boys installing solar powered street lights along our village path. I was humbled that the almighty KCCA deemed us worthy of their attention. 

Mukyala Musisi, may you live long and prosper [I'm assuming that since the Lord Mayor is still trying to regain his position and power after almost 3 years of inactivity, this has nothing to do with him].

Back to School (87)

No. I'm not talking about the 2 hour traffic jam on every road in Kampala, as we try to get to and from work. Or the long queues at the shops and banks. The malls are finally child-free! Thank the Lord. I don't mind children. I actually usually love them. But those confused in-between-adult-and-childhood teenagers can turn anyone's moith sour. We thought we would pay tribute to a classic and decided to watch Annie. Sadly, as Yvonne said, "There was no fireworks at the end." Jamie Foxx is not our favourite actor. I don't think I like remixes of what I thought were beautiful grand old songs. 

In other things school like, I finally went back to Makerere for my transcript. I was very apprehensive and braced myself for a long tiresome bureacratic dance. Quelle suprise! I was in and out in 10 minutes. It had been waiting for me all year! Miracles do abound.  I am glad.

(Wo)Man of the match (86)

We had an interesting chat about responsibilities in the home. There was something said about different people having natural tendencies to take on some duties while other duties are not as natural. I generally tend to busy myself with cleaning and kitchen affairs. I'm not sure if it's my gender or personal traits that lead me to do this. I see dirt, I clean dirt. I never analyse it too much. Others, on the other hand might not see anything. Or they might consider letting it accumulate and will deal with it when it gets to their maximum tolerance limit. I like to move furniture around. There is always a better position for every piece. [I was once guilty of doing this at another's home and I broke a table - overkill!] Others don't see that. And we've agreed to be ok with that. In theory. The practical bits are still working themselves out. The point is no longer about who gets to or has to do what. We've set goals that we want to achieve together and we are going to work towards those goals together. Hopefully, each of us will find our way of doing things while walking alongside the other.

I had lunch with the girls. We used to be different, eclectic. That was the charm that tied us together and drove us crazy. When we grated against each other, we peeled off the crusty selfish layers, and exposed the more tender, more human bits. Pam said something about us evolving into the "Cashmere Mafia". As a slightly defiant tomboy, I would never have dreamt of the day that we would be sitting on the terrace, nibbling on cake and ice cream in a place that says it serves Italian Cuisine. We were set on being fearless, brash and harsh, taking over wherever and whatever we encountered. Now we talk about where to get good manicures and the latest popular fitness programs. We complain about the heat while we share tips on baking and hair products. We are those women we used to wonder about when we were younger. When we were forced to tag along to meet mother's friends, we wondered how they spent hours giggling and nibbling. Now, we bring our daughters to these meets. At least, we have somehow learnt to grow together even when we are apart.

Later, we went to watch the Elephants play against the Desert Warriors. While Bony Wilfried did go on to score 2 very important goals, anyone who watched the match will agree that he was just the finisher in each case. Each goal was a story of the cooperative effort of the entire team. Bony was the final kick (or head butt). The whole team worked towards winning that game. What was more surprising was that the start, Yaya, did not shine as we thought he would. He was part of the team and he played as such [a much needed improvement from their 2014 world cup attempts].

The day has ended. It wasn't about a single [wo]man of the match. It is all about us. Together. I am glad.

Today (85)

When I grow up, I'll live in a cottage, with a prince. He'll be a nice prince, the kind that talks to his neighbours like they are important and gives candy to people. We will wake up happy each day, no matter what the previous day looked like. We will always start the day with a happy chai and funky chocolate or chilled out coffee. I will try to have fresh bread ready each morning just because the aroma makes mornings heavenly. 

I will have a little garden that I will tend to each day, because I like playing with ideas, not because I have a green thumb (I don't). We'll be happy to while away the day in each other's company. If ever we part, we'll eagerly count the seconds till we reunite (thank goodness for whatsapp). I know I will be able to ask or tell him all sorts of silly things, like whether or not I should bake a cake today. 

We will make jokes about life and be happy because we are each other's or as Simba says, "We are one." I know that I will not be alone. He shall be my shadow and, I, his.

I am glad I finally grew up. Welcome to my world - Avril Lavigne

Mandazi, Thai food and the Church, a random day (84)

This story actually started last night. In an attempt to evade all things oily, I looked up a recipe for oven baked mandazi and dared to try it out. The recipe said to mix everything up in a bowl and knead until soft. There was nothing about dissolving yeast in water. I should have known better. Attempt 1 was a flop, literally. The dough did not rise. I was sad.

Round 2: I kneaded the dough again and prayed. I had already waited for an hour. I contemplated putting it in the microwave for a few seconds but thought better of it. Eventually, it worked out. I let it rise overnight and baked in the morning. Here's what we had at breakfast.

In my humble opinion, I think this should be how the recipe goes:
- Mix 1 cup of warm water with 1 tbsp of instant yeast. Leave for 5 mins.
- Add 3/4 tsp of spice [most people recommend cardamom. I used 1/4 cinnamon, 1/4 ginger and 1/4 mixed spice].
- Add 1 beaten egg, 4 tbsp oil [or melted butter] and 7tbsp sugar.
- Add 2 tbsp milk powder [or dessicated coconut if you prefer] then 2 cups of all purpose baking flour.
- Knead until soft and not so sticky. Add more warm water if needed.
- Cover and leave to rest for 1-2 hours, till it doubles in size.
- Divide dough into 4. Roll out 1 piece into circle and cut into quarters. Place quarters on greased baking tray [or use baking paper, so much easier].
- Do the same for rest of the dough.
- Cover. Leave to rest for 45 mins.
- Preheat oven to 200C.
- Bake for 15 mins.

I use gas to bake and don't have gas marks or temperature scales on my cooker. So I set to lowest heat and kept monitoring. It took about 20 mins to bake. This makes a lot more sense than 'mix it all in a bowl and knead'!

Speaking of humble, we had a random conversation at lunch about tithe that led to  a bible search that led to the discovery of Deutoronomy 14:22-29

Be sure to set aside a tenth of all that your fields produce each year. Eat the tithe of your grain, new wine and olive oil, and the firstborn of your herds and flocks in the presence of the Lord your God at the place he will choose as a dwelling for his Name, so that you may learn to revere the Lord your God always.  

But if that place is too distant and you have been blessed by the Lord your God and cannot carry your tithe (because the place where the Lord will choose to put his Name is so far away), then exchange your tithe for silver, and take the silver with you and go to the place the Lord your God will choose. Use the silver to buy whatever you like: cattle, sheep, wine or other fermented drink, or anything you wish. Then you and your household shall eat there in the presence of the Lord your God and rejoice.  

And do not neglect the Levites living in your towns, for they have no allotment or inheritance of their own. At the end of every three years, bring all the tithes of that year’s produce and store it in your towns, so that the Levites (who have no allotment or inheritance of their own) and the foreigners, the fatherless and the widows who live in your towns may come and eat and be satisfied, and so that the Lord your God may bless you in all the work of your hands. 

So tithe is meant to be consumed in a feast at the end of every year? And every three years we're to collect that year's tithe and give it to those with no inheritance [priests, foreigners, fatherless and widows]? Wait. Priests are not expected to have an inheritance? I.e. no business ventures or hummers or million dollar mansions? What? What about all those sermons about giving the Lord His 10%? Then I stumbled upon this sermon on giving in the church. Apparently, contrary to popular teaching, tithing dain't mean God owes you nutin'. All of y'all chanting Malachi 3:10, what's up? We are to give in response to God's goodness. We should not give and expect God to pay us back for our goodness. I'm tithing at the end of the year. Party at my house! Whoop whoop!

And speaking of lunch and parties, we've discovered a new Thai place in Bukoto, one of the 4 Thai places in Uganda [1 is in Entebbe so just 3 in Kampala]. And they have take out. But they charged us for  extra ice. Anywho, I had coconut milk-infused food. The husband says he wants to learn how to cook Thai food. I am glad.

Wednesday is The Day (83)

I vow to go shopping on Wednesdays at lunch time. I suspect that the produce section is re-stocked on Tuesday night or Monday morning. They even had bread fruit. I'd never seen in the city till today. 

I also vow to go to the bank on Wednesdays at lunch time. I got my card in 15 minutes. The IT guy was in the office today. Last time I was at the bank, the IT guy had gone AWOL. He now says my issues will be addressed tomorrow. 

And, finally, UCHUMI came through with splendid chips [today was our cheat day]. 

He was waiting at the door when I got home,  looking like 3 hours apart was too long.

I was glad. 

Of war and love (82)

Moses made a very important comment on marriage, especially the early days: 

When a man hath taken a new wife, he shall not go out to war, neither shall he be charged with any business: but he shall be free at home one year, and shall cheer up his wife which he hath taken. Deuteronomy 24:5 KJV

Of course the Ugandan law does not accomodate marital bliss. There isn't even provision of time off for one to actually get married, let alone enjoy the marriage. The husband was back to the grind 2 weeks after the date. I had a bit more grace but only because of an expired passport. I was back in the boiling Chadian desert in a month and spent 5 weeks inhaling other men's fumes. 

Then comes the night shift. Initially, I used to complain about his night business because while we were dating, I worked during the day. The only time we had to go out was taken up by his busyness. Now that my work time isn't fixed. I like spending days with him. This is the 'cheering up' Moses speaks of. I wake up to him and spend the day with him. He's giving me the greatest gifts. Time and Conversation. Moses was right. I am glad. 

New/Old (81)

We spent most of the day moving around in Daddy's Navaro. The guy who washes the cars for us was worried that we were moving out of the neighbourhood. We think he was worried about changes in his cash flow. We've swapped out our huge, comfy cushions for mum's sleek, neat set. We're so loving the space now and even considering hosting people. 

Then he watched Ella Enchanted with me. Life is good.

Pork @ the Dock (80)

The parents decided to give us a treat. Daddy decided to take us out to his favourite neighbourhood pork joint. We'd had a lazy indoor sunday. I'm glad we didn't have to drive too far to see them. Sometimes it's good to live near the parents. Aside from the mosquitoes nibbling at my feet, it was a lovely nighy to be out. I should have worn socks. They had run out of skewers. We had to make do with very generous plates of ribs and chops while mum had some roasted chicken. Congo won their match and qualified for the second round of AfCON. We were glad, celebrating birthdays again. They were glad to see us. 

Lawoko Day (79)

Yes. My mother and his were in labour on the same date, years apart. On the day he turned three, I was born. He gets away with easy birthday reminders. Who forgets their own birthday? Mother says I was born at about midnight. So, I could claim the 25th just as much as the 24th. But she says Idi Amin marched into Kampala on 25 January 1971. She wanted to separate the memory of my birth from that of the dictator (nevermind that he comes from the same neck of the woods as I do). 

I had a list of things to do by 28. I was rummaging through boxes in the house and found my list. So now that I've hit it, time to take stock. Why 28? In my infinite wisdom, I thought I would have completed my PhD by 28. I was an over ambitious child at 19. Time and experience have made me a tinnie bit wiser. Here's the list [remember,  I was 19]:

- Design a tutorial system for high school -> [not done] I tutored at Gayaza and thought I could change the world. I actually designed the system but my computer crashed with all my information. I've never mustered the motivation to re-do it.

- Create and produce a drama-> [done] We sorta do that every year at church, so maybe that could be considered an achievement.

- Establish a choir -> [done] Church drama is a musical, with a choir and dance and all of that.

- Start something; a consultancy firm, design house, NGO -> [not done] Engineering is no longer a friend of mine. I may never get this done.

- Run Two Oceans [done]

- Join AIESEC committee [done]

- Marry the husband [♡ done]

- Have babies [not done] I figured since mother was 29 when I was born, I've still got time.

- Start a school/orphan's home [not done] I had an idea to set up something for under privileged  children. I've worked and studied with children from the richest and poorest parts of Kampala. I figured the less fortunate ones need a hand, not another overpriced establishment that they can't access.

- Get a job [done]

- Join worship team [done] being in the worship team in church is like being with the cool kids at school, except that the worship team is unaware that they have this influence on people. I wanted in on the cool gang. Such childish thoughts and wishes we have.

- Have an internship outside Africa [done] All I have to say is that winter is overrated.

- Host fellowship at home [done] another one of those actions to get with the cool kids.

-  PhD by 28 [not done] not sure I will complete that one.

That was a mouthful. I was more optimistic about my abilities then than I am now! For now, I am glad I share this day and every other with him. Happy us day 2015! 

He's my Blu and I'm his Yello. 

France, Ethiopia, Uganda and a sprinkling of Katy Perry (78)

The new year means people get back to business and I can't continue to take people's availability for granted. We met up with a friend who's going back to school, down south. He's one of those survivor type of people, who live beyond what we would expect normal people to endure. When he set off last year, we were not sure that he would survive Cape Town, the city or the university's absurd tuition fees. He's definitely beaten the odds and even managed to get a scholarship. So here we were cheering him on at a french restaurant that also serves Ethiopian delicacies and Ugandan muchomo [I had Ethiopian. They had muchomo]. We were wondering why there was such a crowd during dinner. This place is our neighbourhood location where we go on a lazy night [i.e. no one wants to do dishes.] As it turns out, the band was awesome. Weren't we lucky? Band Aroma is the plan. Maybe we should make Friday night date night at our 'kafunda'?

Wedding things (77)

I'm doing things in reverse.  I never went through the nail-biting drama of trying dresses on, not knowing what to expect with each try. I did walk for a few hours to pick out shoes and bags. But I did not have to face an audience and hope for kindness. I did not have people poking and prodding.

So when I get to see that side of life through the eyes of another, I am glad for what I (didn't) go through. I was glad to help. And even gladder that she found her dress, I think. Now we shall pray that mother and daughter shall not wear each other out as each tries to live out her vision of the 'perfect' day.

In other news, I saw my first blue velvet cake today. Drew and Jack Pattiserie, if only I wasn't going through a low carb phase... 

Jolly good fellows (76)

Every year during graduation week, I remember mother telling me about the week I was born. Father was so busy with graduation proceedings that he nearly missed my birth. I was born into academia, literally.  That's the joke we share. 

This year Makerere's 65th graduation celebrated the achievements of two brave souls. They dared to believe they could achieve more than their background said they could. 

Four years later, we are all glad. Congratulations Dennis and Osbert. Beating the odds is an understatement. You've definitely made Arua and Ibanda proud. Next year, I hope we shall be celebrating more achievements. 

Meanwhile, anyone looking to employ Fine Art and Development Studies graduands, let me know. I know peeps who would appreciate the opportunity.

A.F.C.O.N (75)

It's that time again. The African Cup of Nations returns. I only watch football tournaments that involve African nations. I've failed to acclimatise to the commercial transaction that is the Premier league or Bundes Liga or La liga or what's the French one called? Even our own Super league (when they decide which is the official one) is too much money talk for me. These inter-country matches aren't just about football. It's a matter of tradition, national pride, heritage and Amandlha! 

As usual, the rules of the decent audience abide. The screen must be tuned into super sport 5 by 7pm. There will be time to eat and  discuss the day between 9 and 10 pm. Otherwise, one cannot ask for too much attention during the matches. 

While I inwardly cry because of the disappointing performance of the Cranes, I have been comforted by one fact. Father says that the Cameroonian goal keeper, Fabrice Ondoa, might be a relative. You see Ondoa is a Lugbara name. So, I may not have a country to support but I have found a brother! 

Easy like Sunday (74)

Sundays are about sitting, relaxing,  reminiscing and laying back. We're recovering from a long work week, a wedding and a graduation while prepping for another busy week. We're happy for Naphlim and Diane and dear Odette. You gave us reason to overeat and indulge guiltlessly.

We've discovered that we can do a shopping trip in under an hour; capital shoppers vouchers are admin to work with; I can go weeks without washing the car. 

Now, if only I had a robot to do the ironing.

Going Bananas (73)

A few months ago, I attempted to make banana bread. I do not know what 170 deg C feels or looks like in a gas oven. It was a disaster: burnt at the bottom, half cooked on the top. 

Here's take 2. We watched the stove like hawks for 2 hours and were quite happy with the results.  Patience surely does pay! 

And now Rachel can show off to the work people on Monday. We live a great life!

Meanwhile, somewhere in a corner of the kitchen, some one was busy making his own upsidedown trifle with chocolate cake, apples and strawberry cream liquer.

Rest (72)

Many are asking, "Who can show us any good?"   

Let the light of your face shine upon us, O LORD. 

You have filled my heart with greater joy 

than when their grain and new wine abound. 

I will lie down and sleep in peace, 

for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety. Psalms 4:6-8

Perhaps I have eaten too much or too little (either makes me really drowsy). Perharps the heat is finally getting to me and I am in a self-imposed utopia to escape the crazy heat of the day/night. Or perhaps I really am happy. Like a cloud in the sky floating away on a sunny day.

Isaiah says, "You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in You." I have not held my end of the bargain. I cannot claim that my mind is indeed steadfast, at least not for the majority of the day. I've been busy quizzing myself about life and busying myself with strife. But still He says, "Peace I leave with you; My peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid."

Sweet Joy. I sleep.

One good turn (71)

The other day the husband lent a friend some cash that he urgently needed. The friend was able to multiply the cash and to show his appreciation,  he gave us a gift. A pig gave it's life so that the first good turn could be rewarded by another. Today, we added one more turn to the story, turning almost 2 kilos of pork into a wonderful meal. We celebrate friends and pigs. Amen

Baking Mad (70)

We're experimenting with bread now. I discovered that I can actually control the happenings in the gas oven, mainly by watching things cook. I've also learnt that making bread is easier than I thought. Yeast + warm water + salt + sugar + flour and lots of love and warmth and time to rise. This is what we got. 

The next plan is to step up to a bread maker. $100 or $200 to get it and we can have freshly made bread everyday.

I asked him if he was as excited as  I was about it. He says bread is bread. The smells and tastes are not too different. But he likes this type because my hands made it. awww...

When I Grow Up (69)

When I was younger, I was sure I had an older sibling. I would get tired of being responsible for the little ones. Then somewhere along the way, I became aware of the cousins. Mum is the youngest of her family and Dad is the second-to-last in his. Thus, we are the babies of the clan. Finally, I had someone to transfer the blame to. And they bought me chocolate. Now the cousins have their own littles, which makes for great practice for the husband and I!

We went to see the Cs, all four of them. The husband was held captive at the lunch table, firmly planted between 1C and 3C. 4C kept asking me for chicken [and everything else. That child eats more than I do!]. 1C showed us how to fly a plane while 3C drove a stunt monster truck and 4C showed me how to play luxor on her PSP. As we watched the sunset, 2C served us afternoon [Chinese] Tea complete with a Chinese tea set. Then we had mango surprise mocktails. Finally,  the evening was crowned with a musical extravaganza: music, dance and drama by the most adorable fairy, lady bug and bumble bee - not forgetting the piano performance by the DJ and Master of Electronics. Children are awesome.

They should never grow up. 

The Future is Now! (68)

So here we are making plans.

I am not very good at being hopeful. My fright makes it hard for me to think of the future. If I do not know for certain what the exact details are, I'd rather not think about it at all. Sometimes I am so scared that I just peek at it, almost like I'm worried I will jinx it. 

I used to be confident about what I wanted and where I wanted to be. Then, a decade later,  one realises that one is nothing like the dream one had had for oneself. It made me stop and evaluate my so-called plans. Do we really have control over what is to come?

But here we are making plans of castles and gardens and mini-mes and puppies. You're making me dream again. 

How we be (67)

I woke up this morning because the light was on. Then someone spraying something that I later learnt was insecticide. This was followed by clapping sounds and stomping of feet. I buried my head further under the covers and prayed for sleep to return. So, the husband was waging war against malaria carriers. We've managed to avoid or evade them. But the nights are getting hotter and we live quite close to the lake. Today was the D-day. We've secured the fort and installed the net. We've locked up the entry/exit points. We've sprayed poisons to confuse and diffuse the enemy. This is war!

In other news, I have a new hair cut and he did it all himself. I'm never going back to hair salons ever. He says my hair doesn't grow straight. It curves and bends all over the place. He called me his African Queen. Now I look the part. 

We also made bread today. I need to make sure I stick to 30 minutes baking time. The interior is delish but the exterior is a bit, well, crusty... Will make attempt 2 next week.

Town and all that (66)

We were running around town today. I've come to appreciate the monthly parking sticker he bought. It takes away the drama of wondering about paying the parking attendants. We visited the optician. I realised that I might like to buy frames just cause they are cool. He's got new glasses [watch this space]. 

We tried out the Lebanese and Italian restaurants at GC. They both make decent fish. Cafe Coffee Today has Kampala's best juice cocktail. Something like watermelon, mango, orange and I asked for carrot. Lovely stuff! 

We got the final piece of our wedding photo collection. Jose is the awesomest photo guy ever! Interpol was a waste of time. I ended up taking a 20 minute power walk in Kololo. 

Then finally, we visited the relatives. Mikka and Malaika actually played with me today and held my hand. Lloyd is the cutest baby ever, till he gets hungry. Plus he loves the MTN 'tulo tulo'  advert.

Everyday (65)

There's that song by Jill Phillips that we sang to each other for years. It said something about being able to survive a million years if everyday were like today. That is exactly what prophecy about: telling the future before it is. I woke up with you. I walked with you. I worked with you. I lived with you. I'd gladly do that everyday.

Days off (64)

While the world partied and made merry we were at work, saving the world - well, sort of. Now we've been told to take mandatory time off. Mbu we won't be compensated for the unused leave.

So we followed orders and woke up 3 hours later then usual. We ate, re-arranged the house and then drove around, taking up most of the morning. I realised I like chauffering him [and he might be scared of my driving]. We're still not sure what to do about re-modelling the bed to add a mosquito net. The electric repellent and spray aren't doing a good job. 

He made dinner and we watched a bunch of movies. His chest makes for a perfect pillow.

Like Mum (63)

The older I get, the more like Mum I tend to become. So that notion I had that I was unique and special and blah blah blah is totally out of the window. It makes me wonder what the grand parents were like. Then, I'd know what to expect at 80 or 90! 

We were harvesting beans and veggies yesterday. I experimented with kale smoothie, which surprisingly got the husband's seal of approval. It was surprising because I'd thrown breadfruit into the mix too. I don't think he's that familiar with it but we survived. 

I'm thinking about planting more veggies in my little space. The neighbour decided that I needed cucumbers and gave me some of her seeds. She's even promised to help me plant support for them once the tendrils grow. It needs to rain soon. Then we can experiment again.

We tried out a cassava cake today. Apparently, it's a popular dessert in the Philippines. I expected to taste more coconut, after dumping a whole can of coconut milk in the batter. Maybe I'll put more effort into finding coconut flavouring next time. I think I might add shavings as well.

Pappette (62)

Tutu has always claimed that dogs should be an extension of one's security system; like sirens, lights and cameras. Mummy thinks we have too many dogs as it is. She doesn't understand why Daddy and I keep adopting more strays. Daddy's treated each like an extension of the family. He just bought them new collars for the new year. Apparently,  they gotta show up for 2015 too. So, when we saw Pappette almost 3 years ago, I knew he would back me up. 

We'd gone to Tusky's to buy dinner [that's what tired bachelors do in Ntinda]. On our way out, we found a tipsy gentle(?)man standing next to a shivering pup. She was so filthy and miserable. He said he was trying to sell her for 10,000/-. We walked passed him because I knew we had 4 dogs at home. The last addition to the family, Pushkin, the Russian, had been accepted on condition that he was the last stray we were taking in. I knew Mummy's patience and tolerance had been worn out. I also knew that I was in between jobs and living on savings. At that time even 10,000/- was a huge sacrifice, nevermind food purchases and vet trips that had to be done. 

Then she whimpered. She was lost and lonely. The saleman picked her up to keep her quiet. Right there and then, we [the husband and I] decided to adopt our first baby. I called Daddy, who promised he would back me up. We bought the tiny pup, bought her milk and took her home. 

I tried to bathe and feed her the next day. But I couldn't comb through her hair. It was so filthy and tangled it broke the comb. I was scared I might damage her skin. She couldn't hold in any food she ate in and was fond of eating wood and grass. I took her to the vet and she appropriately got carsick in my father's back seat. That smell stayed for months [on the bright side, I had a car all to my myself since only I could stand the smell]. 

She nearly died. I was on the phone with the vet every couple of hours for a week. She couldn't eat. She was put on drip. I was freaking out. Then...she came back to me. One day, I got a call and the vet said I could take her home. Her hair was smooth. Her bark was loud and she couldn't stop chasing my feet. 

Our baby's made it to 21 [in dog years]. I'm so glad we stopped by Tusky's for dinner that night. I'm glad I have my Pappette. 

Wisdom (61)

The talk with my schoolmate yesterday has got me thinking big thoughts. I remember how I felt on graduation day. We were told that we had been trained to change the world, not just our bank accounts. All the hours we and our lecturers invested were meant to tune our skills, to prepare us to take on the greatest of challenges that Africa, our mother, and the world face.

My friend's in charge of the design and construction of a dam. Seriously.  He's my age and by end of this year people might have better access to electricity and water because of him. He has a side project that involves helping municipalities prepare and plan new developments. Plus, in his spare time, he's working on land development projects with another schoolmate. 

Then there's this young lady who made me think again about how I've used my time and skills. She just finished school and has a magazine running, a fashion design studio and various architectural projects.

I was talking to the husband about my inability to inspire myself and the lessons I've learnt from the others. We also happened to talk about a friend who just had a baby. He pointed out that that's a huge undertaking - bringing forth a human life. It's probably the biggest resposibility one could have since out of this one child could come the salvation of hundreds, thousands, millions or billions.

It makes me wonder: what am I doing with my time?

"Before I formed you in the womb I knew you, before you were born I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations." 

"Ah, Sovereign LORD," I said, "I do not know how to speak; I am only a child." 

But the LORD said to me, "Do not say, 'I am only a child.' You must go to everyone I send you to and say whatever I command you. Do not be afraid of them, for I am with you and will rescue you," declares the LORD.  

Then the LORD reached out his hand and touched my mouth and said to me, "Now, I have put my words in your mouth. See, today I appoint you over nations and kingdoms to uproot and tear down, to destroy and overthrow, to build and to plant." Jeremiah 1:5-10. NIV